Authentic and powerful communication in 14 steps

Authentiek en krachtig communiceren in 14 stappen

Success in any form requires a tough and strong mind. You can have any means, but if your mind is a mess, you will fail. From my early childhood my brain has been trained, initially by my judo sensei and later myself. That has helped me to many championships and world records. I want to be driven by my higher self and not by fears and nerves.

You cannot and should not allow your brain and mind to be poisoned by the (social) media with their bad dopamine. I am determined never to be beaten by any event or circumstance in my life. That requires mental strength and toughness. You want to be like the fighters of old, build resilience that will take you through the worst of times and adversity. It's time to take your life to the next level and learn what it's like to have the superpower of our ancient warriors, tough and powerful in body and mind.

It's all discipline

Mental toughness is one thing: discipline. You can make any change you want with your mindset, with the way you think, that means with discipline. Discipline is not to let the little things in life blow your tower of happiness. It means congruence between wanting, being able and doing, congruence between the conscious and the unconscious, congruence with who you are. To have an abundance of mental toughness and strength, you have to make a decision. It decides that you are in control. That means that you do not allow events, circumstances or other people to have control over you. Making sure you decide what everything in your life means to you. You can give it the meaning that is best for you.


In addition to your decision regarding your mental toughness, it is also practice, practice. Practice makes perfect. Exercise strengthens. It is being aware of your thoughts and beliefs and getting the best out of them.

Fear is an automatic and default value programmed in our reptilian brain. When you don't use discipline to stay in control, you fall into the lowest thought pattern: “negative thoughts” that are fueled by fear, nerves and / or depression. Discipline is going for the best. Discipline is nothing less to accept.

You know to eat healthy, exercise, do what you love, and treat people with love, kindness, and consideration. All of this is known to you, but you do not do them through lack of discipline. The best way to address your discipline is to connect with your purpose (s) in life (in English “purpose”), meaning of your life. When you know your goals, know what you want, what is most important to you in life. Then, when you have to make a decision that requires discipline, think about your goal and outcome. Tell your brain you will fail if you are not disciplined.

Reprogram your brain

By connecting the outcome to your goal of the discipline, you reprogram the connections in your brain to make the best decisions for you. It gives you the power over your brain and to turn the game of life in your favor. It can be difficult to reprogram your brain. The beliefs, behaviors and habits are stuck in the brain through the various chemical compounds that have formed over the years.

Every time you start something big, something that really matters to make a change in your life, it is torpedoed by old weakening beliefs and habits. One way to free yourself is to take small manageable steps. Each step in itself creates a mini transformation. I will come back to this much more extensively in a training.

Mini transformations are small steps that are always within your reach. Below 15 steps that will take you to mental toughness and strength, without having to put in any real effort. You just have to commit to really take that step. Not everything at the same time, but one step every day. Discipline is the choice to make the right decisions that you already know intuitively.

Authentic and powerful communication in 14 steps

Here are 14 steps to develop your mental toughness and strength:

1. Intention

Everything starts with intention. The intention that you want to grow, the intention that you want to be authentic. Being authentic gives you confidence, attraction to others, and the ability to be yourself and be happy with yourself.
Being authentic attracts the right and better friends, empowers and reduces, eliminates stress. You let go of what others think of you and expect from you and you concentrate purely on yourself and what is for you. So as the first step on your path to being authentic, you set your intention to become mentally stronger and tougher. Tougher means that you don't give up easily. You only give up if there is a better way that is cheaper for you. But your goal remains, you keep that in mind. You can read how to acquire that mental toughness in the following steps.

2. A step further

Mental strength can be developed by going one step (you) further than you believe is possible.
For example, if you are doing 10 push-ups right now, the next time you do 11, if you eat one piece of fruit a day now, take two pieces tomorrow until you hit eight pieces. If you drink 1 liter of water a day, drink one more cup tomorrow. Do you do 3000 steps today, do 3100 tomorrow and the day after 3200, 3300. Do you hit a punching bag 10 times, do 11 times the next day, 12 times the next day, etc.

The secret is to take small steps further, what your mind believes it can do. Every day a different small step. Before you know it, you have achieved breakthroughs, you are closer to your goal. Shortly (within two to three months) a training of “Mini Transformations for Unstoppable Success” will come to bring big changes in your life in small steps in order to avoid and prevent sabotage. It will guide you in formulating and achieving what is important to you.

3. Know that things will go wrong

When you have to prepare for an event, you get mentally tough by telling yourself from the very beginning that things can and probably will go wrong. Rather than hoping that everything will be perfect, expect most to go right, knowing that at least one thing will go wrong. That does not mean that you do less in your preparation. Perfection is the fastest way to destroy your mental toughness and strength.

Nothing goes exactly the way you want it to go. With perfection, you not only sabotage your success, but you do not allow the universe to do and realize the best for you. Failure in itself is not a problem when you see it as a learning process on your way to the greatest success. Knowing that something can go wrong and that you will get what you want done will make you happier with the result and with yourself.

4. Sleep on it with negative emotions

Everything goes wrong and “the shit hits the fan”. As the negative emotions build up in your mind, tell yourself that you are going to express all emotions, with one condition: sleep first with the commitment that you will do it tomorrow. This small step makes you mentally tough, as it slows down the emotional response to every event, circumstance and setback in your life. Better than being caught in the moment, delay the reaction until later. If you know the 5 elements that I teach in my workshops, you can immediately let go of the reactions by changing your internal causes.

If you don't know that, this (slowing down) is a solution to become mentally tough and powerful. Probably, because of one of the functions of sleep, you processed the emotions of the day while sleeping. That is why a good night's sleep is extremely important. If you are still restless, go to the forest, grab a piece of wood, hit the ground or a solid object hard and shout out all your emotions. The bottling up of emotions will invalidate you. That should never happen. After that, you are free to learn everything that went wrong. Next time you do it differently and better. Moreover, you are mentally stronger and more resilient.

5. Mister Positivo

When a tragedy happens (almost always happens once), make sure you have the commitment to find at least 1 thing it was good for. Before you spend a second on the negative side, find a positive thought about the situation that has arisen. It can be a very small thing. It is important that it is positive.

By starting with the positive, you develop your mental strength and toughness and find Mr. / Mrs. Positivo in everything that happens. Make positive thoughts a priority, make your positive internal dialogue a priority. You will always win in the game of life in the long run and achieve your goals.

6. Focus on a goal, not the dream

One of the qualities of mental toughness and strength is focus. It directs all your mental energy towards one thing and being tough enough not to give up. What I've learned is that whatever dream I have, I have to break it down into goals and tasks. When I focus on those separate goals and tasks that I have set out in a plan, I come to my dream. That makes it possible to dream big. By going there with small steps and mini transformations, I always achieve what I want to achieve.

With a purpose that is clearly defined and tied to a timeline, the brain has something to hold on to. The brain and conscious and unconscious mind have to be told in a pretty specific way what you want in order to achieve that mental toughness (persistence). Focus your thoughts and execute your plan. Your dream will come true. You know, if you want to eat through a mountain of rice, you do it one grain at a time (mini transformation).

7. Pain is nice!

You can never be mentally tough without experiencing regular pain. Pain is one of the guarantees of mental toughness and strength. Whether you suffer that pain or not is your choice. If you want to stay in the womb of your comfort zone and refuse to experience pain, then my friend, you are not mentally tough, successful, rich, and probably not happy either. When I have muscle pain from my workout, I know I have done my best and I am very happy. I know I am moving forward and I am going for growth, fitness, health and vitality. I continue to stretch my pain threshold, also in normal life, to break through my comfort zones and learn something new. I have learned to experience that as very pleasant.

8. Break your comfort zone regularly

Ha ha, I already have to laugh a bit about the cold claws, which I myself once was. You know it.
I come from a tropical island (Aruba), where a cold shower did not exist. So switching to a cold shower was a challenge at first, really stepping out of my comfort zone. A hot shower every morning? Pleasant, but has no aim to become more powerful. Start training your mental toughness by taking a cold shower in the morning.

If it is too much at once, do it step by step, shower cold. It's good for your heart, it's good for your brain. Two very important thinking and feeling centers. By taking that cold shower in the morning, I program my brain to become stronger, to accept uncomfortable situations on the way to my strength and success

Mission Possible

Moreover, my brain learns that it is good to be uncomfortable, because the price is much better: my well-being and success. That also applies to you. You get the toughness and strength to be successful even in ventures and actions that seem impossible. One of my slogans from the past was “Mission Possible” and “I am possible”. Your brain learns to punch through everything with strength and success.

9. Fuel for the brain

What sabotages your toughness is mental energy. The quickest way to use up your fuel for mental toughness is to waste it on problems you can't solve (usually not your responsibility) and / or negative thoughts that don't serve you. Negative thoughts are mental fuel wasters. Negative thoughts use twice the fuel and give zero traction to your goals. Anytime you respond to a situation with negative thoughts, you are wasting mental fuel. It is now important to appeal to your discipline and not to do things that will affect you and mean nothing in achieving your goal. Being mentally tough is a choice.

10. Letting go of drama queens

Use your mental energy to inspire and move you forward. You're not stupid. You now know which thoughts serve you and which do not serve you. When you are drowning in negative thoughts and your fuel tank indicates empty, it could also be the people around you. Avoid all negative people, the people who often have twelve crafts and thirteen accidents and proclaim it. You banish the drama queens and kings from your life.

11. Feed your brain

Recalibrate, recharge, engage in personal development. Feed your mind with books, seminars and workshops (see and others as well). Give your mind the nutrients it needs such as fresh fruits, vegetables and smoothies. Your brain is a small part of your body, but it uses 75% of your glucose stock (you get it from fruit & smoothies, among others).

Multiple birds with one stone You kill several birds with one stone. With the power smoothie you feed your brain, you nourish your organs, body systems, you strengthen your immune system, you make your body as cancer-resistant as possible. Know that in the Netherlands 1 in 3 deaths is caused by cancer. You prevent misery and extend your healthy and vital life.

Here you can download my recipe for “Power Smoothies”.

12. Train (prepare) your mind

When you practice a profession that you do year after year, you are mentally prepared for that profession. by now you have become tough and you will hardly fail. That is normal. When you start doing something new, such as preparing a speech for an audience, you read it a dozen times. At the time of the speech you are mentally prepared, especially if you have also imagined how everything will go and set your intention for the speech. You feel strong because you are prepared for anything.

Function at a special level

When you have never had to function at a special level, you are generally weak mentally. By doing the aforementioned points, you are mentally training yourself. In addition, just like everyone else, you have brain plasticity. Namely, your brain is able to grow permanently if you regularly challenge it with new things.

By exercising your brain, eg by stepping out of your comfort zone on a regular basis and continuous personal development, your brain will not experience decline, but continuous progress and growth. For the rest of your life you will always be sharp and have a large brain (thinking and resolving power). If your brain is not confronted with having to compete to master something new, it becomes weaker and weaker. An easy way to confront your brain with something new is to take up a new hobby.

13. Avoid distractions

Another way to lose mental strength quickly is to be lived by distractions. Technology in this modern information era is causing distractions time and time again. Your smartphone that emits all kinds of sounds for e-mails, social media, whatsapp, messenger, etc. You are mentally strong when you turn off that damned thing, do what you have to do and do it in a focused, mindful way and in peace and quiet. Set for yourself times when your phone is on and when it is off. A small step towards time management.

14. Be convinced that you are a champion

Your beliefs are the basis for everything that happens. Thoughts, feelings and emotions flow from your beliefs. Those beliefs, thoughts, feelings and emotions drive your behavior and habits. Champions believe they can win. You can have all the positive thoughts in the world, but if you don't believe you can do something, your subconscious will make it fail. “Yes, I can”, “YES, I can” is crucial to performing during the day and in life.

Because you like “pain” (point 6 above), a strong mind will take you right through all the pain to what you want, where you want to be. You are willing to do the impossible. Were your mind unprepared, untrained, there is a high probability that you will fail.

Practice these 14 points to be free to be authentic. To make your own decisions, not to depend on what other people think and want, not to depend on circumstances and events, but to learn. At the same time, you are on the way to unstoppable success.


Translated from Dutch

Original Post:

Author: Dr. Roy Martina

Other people also read

3 Tips for using your intention for success Tip 1 Be happy with your intention
Hunt Your Dream Falen
Something happens and we react. This response originates in thoughts (beliefs), feelings, emotions that lead to actions. This pattern of behavior leads to additional events, thoughts, feelings, emotions and actions. We generally respond in the same way without being aware of it.
How often do you feel energized, grounded, and excited for the day when you finish your morning routine?

Stay in touch!

 Facebook  Instagram  Linkedin  Whatsapp


Subscribe to our newsletter